Rini's Struggle
by xxHotaruxDenise
Summary: Here it is all. What you asked for. Another story for Helios/Rini/Hotaru. This is mostly from Rini's point of view. Warning: Rini gets abused just a little bit here. So sit back, relax and read bout Rini's struggle with who she is. Smut.


Hole – Kelly Clarkson

Sailor Moon fan fiction for Rini

**Tired, of everything around me**

**I smile, But I don't feel a thing no**

**I'm so far away from where I need to be**

**I've given up on faith, on everything**

Another night with Hotaru feeling nothing. She tried ever so hard. She truly did love Hotaru didn't she? She moaned as her female cum dripped down Hotaru's fingers. Though her body reacted and came she still felt nothing.

"Oh, Rini-chan." Hotaru moaned as Rini rubbed her clit rabidly. Hotaru cried out and spasmed as she came, her own female cum dribbling down Rini's fingers.

With her free hand Hotaru rubbed Rini's tits making her lover cry out her name. Rini moved Hotaru's fingers from her folds and lay on top of her rubbing their clits together.

Hotaru's back arched as she came once again. Rini kept up her pace forcing herself to come once again. Then she collapsed her breasts pushing against Hotaru's.

"I love you Rini-chan." Hotaru stammered as she ran her delicate fingers up and down Rini's back.

_I felt my blood run cold as Hotaru told me she loved me_. "I love you too." _Though it did not sound as sincere as I had hoped. Hotaru did not seem to notice._ _I felt her begin to relax beneath me and, I slid off her. Soon she was asleep. I must have tired her out. _

Rini grabbed her gown off the floor and slowly put it back on. She turned to watch Hotaru sleep then, she left the room. Feeling empty.

**All I want, all I need is some peace**

**There's a hole, in side of me**

**It's so cold**

**Slowly killing me**

_I headed into my room and turned on the shower. I needed to do something, I felt so empty. So..unsatisfied. I had never felt like this before with Hotaru. Never. She use to be enough for me. Now she wasn't; and I was off sleeping with Helios and any other guy that would accept me._

Turning the water on as hot as she could take it, Rini once again took off her gown. She slowly climbed into the tub letting the water soak her. She stared off into nothingness. She felt nothing. She had to do something to feel fulfilled.

_It started out with just me sleeping with Helios. We met late at night, and satisfied each other in more ways then one. I could still feel him inside of me. His length moving in and out. His seed entering me. Then the scare happened ; maybe that is when he was not enough for me._

flashback a few months ago

Rini had once again gone out to meet Helios. She had told Hotaru she needed to get some fresh air. She promised to be back as soon as she could.

Of course sweet innocent Hotaru had believed her lover. She had never, had to worry bout Rini before. She knew Rini loved her more then words could say.

Or so she thought.

"Oh Helios-san." Rini whispered as Helios picked her up and carried her up to his room. Quickly their clothing was off and in a tattered heap on the pale colored rug.

"I was worried you would not come." He whispered, as his gentle hands explored every inch of his lovers silky smooth body.

"I almost wasn't." Rini stammered, her breathing becoming rabid as his fingers started to rub her clit moving in and out.

"Hotaru ask questions?" He asked though it was barely audible; since his breathing had increased as Rini began to rub his length making him aroused.

"No, I was trying to fight the urge to see you. Be with you." Rini moaned as her body began to react to Helios' teasing. "I realized, I could not fight it anymore." She gasped her back arching.

Helios leaned over and kissed Rini passionately , he released her and helped her lead him inside of her.

Her folds reacted instantly squeezing Helios length as he moved in and out. His hands rubbed her harden breasts and her back arched once again.

She called out Helios name as they came together. His seed entered her and he moaned as he kissed Rini harder biting her bottom lip slightly.

She pulled him closer as his cum kept entering her filling her; all of her, mind, body and soul.

He kept plunging until he was exhausted and rolled off of her, then he pulled her close to him.

_Lying my head on his chest, I felt that this must be real. This is love. I will never feel anything like this with Hotaru. I wanted to be with Helios is more ways then one. I wanted him to be with me all the time. I wanted him inside of me. I wanted to believe this was true love._

**Secrets, eating at the core of me**

**Shut off**

**Trusting all the lies I breathe**

_I kissed Helios once more and started to stand. He reached out to me and pulled me on top of him, his length still stiff as it pushed against my stomach. "_Don't leave yet Rini." _He whispered. I did not want to leave him. I wanted to stay with him all night. _"I have to get back before Hotaru starts to worry."_ I tried to explain to him. _

flashback end

_But, I could not leave that night; and we made love many more times that night. Each time it was better then before. Then I was late and I panicked! I could not be pregnant! How would I explain it to Hotaru? So I left Helios and went in search of other men to satisfy me. Of course I was not pregnant but, the scare was enough. Yet, not enough._

**I'm so far from where I need to be**

**I've given up on faith, on everything**

**All I wanted, all I needed was some peace**

_Hotaru and I started to grow further apart. We still made love and pleasured each other but, it was not the same. Never the same. I almost started to force myself to come, just so Hotaru would believe she was satisfing me. It was one of the worst things I could have done! _

**There's a hole, inside of me**

**It's do damn cold**

**Slowly killing me**

**Sinking ever so slowly**

**So far from where I should be**

"Rini-chan you have changed." Hotaru told Rini one night after that had made love. Rini had once again forced herself to come. She did not want to hurt Hotaru.

"What do you mean?" Rini asked sitting up and looking into Hotaru's amethyst colored eyes. "You enjoy what we do but, your so distant."

_Once again my blood ran cold. She had figured it out! I had not been secretive enough! The last man I had let use me. Heck, I had not even known his name! She must have followed me! How many did she know about? How long had she known!? Were the sores beginning to show?_

**No hands reaching out for me**

**Help me, help me**

**Something's gone I can feel it**

**It's all wrong**

_I looked in her eyes and I knew she knew. My heart broke as I felt her pain. "_I'm sorry Hotaru-chan." _Was all I could say. No explanation, no comfort to give. She left me that night and never returned. I felt the hole inside of me expand. No one would ever heal it. No matter how many guys I slept with._

**I'm so sick of this**

**There's a hole, inside of me**

**It's so cold**

**Slowly killing me**

_Thats when it happened. Thats when it started. I would give myself to any guy would wanted me. Helios was gone. Hotaru was gone. It was my own damn fault!I let myself go and I have yet, to return from it._

**There's a hole, inside of me**

**It's so damn cold**

**Slowly killing me**

The End.

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